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Jul. 22nd, 2017 10:10 pm
yam: (Nap guitar)
[personal profile] yam
It is I, sleeping yam!

Sooooo sleepy all the time. I barely do anything and then am so exhausted by it. Feeling pretty down about that, but oh well, it is what it is. I was hoping maybe it is just allergies on top of everything, but I'm not usually allergic to everything forever, and I haven't been getting less sleepy. On the other hand, it seems to be a truly epic year for allergies across the board, judging by how hard it is to keep my antihistamine section stocked at work, so maybe that is it. I'm like, pregnancy-level sleepy, although thank god that is not the cause. (I love my baby and I am never doing that again.) Feeling down about my finances as a tangled-up part of this; I keep trying to pick up extra shifts - in fact I have one this very week, I have absolutely not learned - and then getting smacked down immediately by how weak I am for days afterward. Sigh. I did a big round of expense trimming and feel a bit better about things, but my travel budget is not very... er... existent. Things will improve a bit next year I think, when my tax returns catch up to reality and I qualify for more government this and that. And I'm going to sign up for the Please Pay For My Mental Health Medication I Am Broke But You Want Me To Take It Trust Me program, which will incidentally pay for my expensive migraine pills, since they are also used for various psychiatric issues. Nothing's all that bad, but a lot of things are not great and getting my pollyanna on is something I have less and less energy for. Thank god I have cats.

I am, no surprise, still loving having cats again. It's not exactly the unconditional love of an animal that appeals - it's super conditional, I totally feed them and they love that! - plus I feel lots of unconditional love from my family and friends, I am blessed. But I never have to explain or do emotional labour about my migraines to them. It's... it's amazing. I spend a lot of exhausted time trying to hide how much pain I am in, or trying to wade ahead through awkward answers to "How are your migraines?" "How are you?" "You're doing so much better!" etc, or trying to soothe people who have gotten a peek at what exactly I'm used to - being in pain 24/7, expecting to be in pain, being glad when the pain is not as bad as it sometimes is, stopping for meds every 4 hours - that stuff keeps me busy and I don't really want to spend more time going "No, no, it's okay, I've got this. I mean, I recognize that it's awful that I've got this, that there's a thing to get, just... let's talk about the weather, hey?" And yet I have the same impulses when people I love are in pain or in a lingering bad situation and I get the helpless need to reach out and show my shared horror / sympathy / disapproval etc. I'm not sure what to do with the irritation at how much emotional labour it is. Trying to come to view it as a symptom of my illness rather than a behaviour other people are doing to me. In some ways the societal downplaying of how bad migraine can be because it's predominantly a woman's disease comes in handy, helps me get away with "Fine thanks how are you!" when light is hurting me and sound is hurting me and my head is throbbing and moving hurts. It's... complicated. I've settled on usually answering "Oh, medium." when people ask how I'm doing. Most people seem to interpret that as "not in the mood to talk about it, but not brushing you off," which is about what I want I guess. Sick of this shit; still no hall pass; oh well, heft the backpack, here we go. But cats. Cats are an outlet of affection and amusement that involves none of this social illness role math. It's nice.

Splatoon 2 just came out and I ADORE IT. (Splatoon 2 had a line item all by itself in my cramped little budget. Tentacles: essential.) I can't stand to play for more than a few matches in a row because the sound hurts and also like, staying awake is harrrrrd, but BEING A SQUID IS STILL GREAT. Greg is very excited to watch me play. He would also like to play, but he's not getting his hands on my expensive, fragile Switch until he can come up with the gameboy I just bought him like six months ago which is lost inside our apartment somehow. This is not as ridiculous as it sounds, as our floors are constantly a disaster - he's six and I can't easily bend over to pick things up because of my bad knee and the way my head hurts if I do - so probably there are LOTS of interesting treasures hidden in the drifts of clutter here. But no getting jam on my new console until I confirm the previous one hasn't been stepped on or something. I might cave and let him play Splatoon 1 on the wii u, since let's face it, it's already well-jellied.

I've been going to church lately. I feel all sheepish about it, after being various flavours of atheist all these years. (While also being a church-going unitarian for many of them - but that's different in a lot of important ways.) But the Wednesday healing service at the local anglican cathedral is so lovely. It's so CALM and quiet and soothing, and they pet my head with blessed oil, and all kinds of muscles in my head and neck untense as the liturgy flows past. And then church ladies make me coffee and gossip about nursing homes with me. (As a pharmacist I am totally up on all the nursing home gossip.)

I have recently devoured two Neal Stephenson books and loved them: Reamde and Seveneves. They are both very in your face speed-reads (despite their great weight) rather than dense fruitcake like the Baroque Cycle, I am happy to report. I mean, I read all of the baroque cycle (I alternated it a chapter at a time with Vorkosigan books to keep myself going,) but it's more the kind of thing you do to put on your resume rather than for pleasure. I'm a little afraid to pick up his newest, DODO, because it looks like a bit of a return to historical twee-ness. I might give it a few years and then peep nervously at reviews.

Righto, back to sleep. Here are your journal entries for the next three weeks: CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS

A Hugo recommendation for next year

Jul. 18th, 2017 05:29 pm
filkerdave: (science fiction)
[personal profile] filkerdave

The truly wonderful What Football Will be Like in 17776 has finished so now's a great time to sit down and read it.

It's a lovely little SF piece. Be warned that you'll need to watch videos and animations as well as reading text. It's worth it, though.
filkerdave: Made by LJ user fasterpussycat (Default)
[personal profile] filkerdave

It turns out that there's no Music AH for Worldcon 75.

I mean, on one level, I'm not shedding any tears over screwups with the convention after they booted me (and the way it was done). But on the other hand, my friends are going to miss out on a lot of the activity they enjoy at the convention because there's nobody put it together.

Complicated feelings.

Gen Ex Letter 2017

Jul. 10th, 2017 02:04 am
zdenka: A woman touching open books, with loose pages blowing around her (book guardian)
[personal profile] zdenka
Dear Artist or Author,

Thank you so much for making art or writing for me! I'm happy that we share a love for these fandoms and characters. I mean the prompts as suggestions only, in case it's helpful to have a starting point (and it’s fine to make art from my fic prompts or fic from my art prompts). If they don't work for you or if you have an idea you like better, then feel free to go with what inspires you. I don’t want this to be stressful, and I’m sure I will love what you make.

General Things

Read more... )

Crossover Fandom [fanart, fanfic]

Aliera e'Kieron (Dragaera) & Csethiro Ceredin (The Goblin Emperor)
Arien (Silmarillion) & the Balrog of Moria (LotR book)
Csethiro Ceredin (The Goblin Emperor) & Tazendra (Dragaera)
Faramir (LotR book) & Hector (Iliad)
Finduilas of Dol Amroth (LOTR) & Uinen (Silmarillion)
Goldberry (LotR) & Indis (Silmarillion)
Goldberry (LOTR) & Melian (Silmarillion)

Read more... )

Dragaera - Steven Brust [fanart, fanfic]

Aerich & Khaavren & Pel & Tazendra

Read more... )

The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien [fanfic]

Dís & Thorin Oakenshield

Read more... )

The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien [fanfic]

Boromir & Denethor & Faramir
Boromir & Faramir
Elrond & Faramir
Éomer & Éowyn
Éomer & Éowyn & Théodred
Éomund & Éowyn
Éowyn & Ioreth
Éowyn & Théodred
Éowyn & Théodwyn
Galadriel & Goldberry
Hild & Helm's daughter
Nazgûl & Sauron

Read more... )

The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien [fanart, fanfic]

Aredhel & Maeglin
Celebrían & Celebrimbor
Celebrimbor & Narvi
Celebrimbor & Finduilas Faelivrin
Celebrimbor & Maglor
Celebrimbor & Orodreth
Curufin & Finrod
Elendil & Elrond
Elendil's wife & Tar-Míriel
Emeldir & Morwen Eledhwen
Finrod & Edrahil
Finrod & Haleth
Haleth & Guardswomen
Morwen & Rían

Read more... )

Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold [fanfic]

Aral Vorkosigan & Piotr Vorkosigan
Miles Vorkosigan & Piotr Vorkosigan
Simon Illyan & Aral Vorkosigan

Read more... )

Some things I wrote

Jul. 16th, 2017 11:19 pm
zdenka: Miriam with a tambourine, text "I will sing." (Default)
[personal profile] zdenka
Here are the things I've written since the last time I shared stuff here, mostly drabbles and ficlets. It's all Tolkien, for The Silmarillion and The Lord of the Rings.

Read more... )

Drabbles, drabbles everywhere

Jul. 16th, 2017 09:13 pm
zdenka: A woman touching open books, with loose pages blowing around her (book guardian)
[personal profile] zdenka
The Multifandom Drabble Exchange 2017 has just been revealed. (This is the same drabble exchange that was run on Imzy last year, but since Imzy is no more, it has now moved to AO3.)

Oh my GOSH you guys. I have ten gifts (or maybe eleven, since something on my gift page is currently stuck in a weird AO3 limbo). I feel like someone just handed me a big basket of puppies and kittens. I'm still in the middle of reading my way through them, and then there's the rest of the collection(s) to look forward to.

I was hoping to go on a treat-writing spree myself, but I was so busy/tired/distracted with Chess that I only managed a set of three drabbles for my recipient. Maybe next time!

The main collection (with one drabble for each person): here
The treat collection (with all the rest): here


Edit: It turns out the extra one was a glitch, but I'm so not complaining. I've read my gifts now and they are all just great.

Leavin' on a jet plane

Jul. 12th, 2017 12:46 pm
filkerdave: Made by LJ user fasterpussycat (Default)
[personal profile] filkerdave

I'm off to the wilds of Jackson, WY!

Working remotely until the end of the month so I can spend time with my girlfriend (who lives there).

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